The Path to Purpose

This was originally posted on the HHS Parent Forum in November 2009. I still think it's worth sharing.

On Tuesday, Nov. 17th, I attended a lecture at Gunn HS by Dr. William Damon.
He discussed the research that was the basis of his most recent book, The
Path to Purpose.

In his research, he interviewed students ranging in age from 12 - 18years old and followed them for at least 10 years. The take-away messages (to me) were:
a) allow/expose your children to as many experiences as possible and
b) encourage their dreams.

Here's a brief summary of his talk.
Definition of purpose: Purpose helps organize various goals, is stable and long-term. One can have many purposes. It must be meaningful to the individual, not externally dictated. The
individual must accomplish something. Note – purpose is notsynonymous with
career path. For example, one's purpose may be to have a family and one's job
is a means to that goal.

There are four possible outcome scenarios:
1. High activity, low purpose – 2. High activity, high purpose
3. Low activity, low purpose – 4. Low activity, high purpose

Children in scenario 1 are the most stressed. In scenario 2, children are just as busy, but don't feel the same stress.

The steps to acquiring purpose are: discovering/forming a Goal, creating a Plan and taking Action. Common patterns of those who find purpose:
1. The realization that something needs to be done.
2. The belief that "I can make a difference".
3. A strong role model.
4. Acquires practical skills and plans.

The role of parents and school:
1. Share your own stories, what inspired you. Talk about both the positive
and negative.
2. Send a clear message that what your child does will make a
difference.
3. Support your child's efforts; nurture a positive outlook.
4. Encourage resilience – what can be learned from mistakes and failure.
5. Watch for the "spark" – listen actively and attentively.
6. Provide knowledge.
7. Share skills and knowledge in the context of purpose; provide real life examples.